So close... yet so far (crying about my dream dress)

 Hii!

Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE Český Krumlov series by Innocent World? It feels like yearning for a place you remember fondly. And I really do remember Krumlov specifically with a great fondness, but I will not bore anyone with that one time I was forced to work 16 hours per schift in a restaurant at 17, with no way to run away. Or that one time a boat run me over. 
(I swear, I do have non-traumatic memories.)
Even besides that, it´s just georgeous and so specific. I don´t think there´s any dress that similar to this stylisation of print and mix of colours. 

It´s no suprise that many Czech lolitas yearn for this dress. And right now, it´s on Lace Market. For quite an affordable price of 90 Euros. And it´s it in Germany, which is just a few kilometers away. Why did no one buy it yet?
More specifically, me?

The cut and colourway of the piece in question are actually my favourites. The lila sky with empire cut make it so dreamy. Sadly, I don´t really have anything lila. Honestly, I don´t really feel comfortable in those colours. 
Alright then. I can coord it with white and reds, I can live with those. 
Well, how often would I actually wear this dress? Pastels make me look washed out, and I have this thing with dark clothing going on. I cannot stress enough how much I don´t like wearing light colours. (Well, it´s not like anyone is forcing me.)

Second of all, I love the cut. I really do. I actually have something similar - my Argyle Check OP by BtSSB. It´s a waistless sack, but luckily it has waist ties, which make it work rather well in my opinion. 
This dress isn´t very tit friendly. From what I heard (the seller is in our local Discord group and answered some questions), anything bigger that 90 cms is not going to fit into the boob area, therefore ending up in the waist. 
I hope I´m not the only one who finds this to sound rather pregnant. For past few (and next few too, probably) years, I have been balancing just around the 90 centimeters. I can take a risk and hope for the best, but I don´t really want to. I would just probably end up sad.
It would be terrible situation for the dress too - while any article of fashion can be art I do feel like clothing should be worn. It would be terrible to just keep it in my closet while slowly tranforming into Smeagul, unable to actually style in any interesting way. 

I´m little bit sad anyway, but at least I saved myself some money and did something more productive with them. I ordered the Bodyline Vampire OP that kept following me on Vinted.

It´s cute, the cut looks amazing and it´s perfectly withnin my comfort zone. I will probably continue to yearn for Český Krumlov OP (in Naruto chasing Sasuke kind of way, because it is going to be dramatic), but in the meanwhile, I will look like a gothic princess. 
And if that isn´t the point of living, then what is?

See you soon!
Bye!

Ultimate Derek Zoolander Summer List

 Hello (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵)
 
For past week, it finally felt like spring (unusually log one this time) was finally over and summer started. I don´t like summer that much as a season - it´s too hot, bugs and cyclists everywhere, but I love it as a vibe. Everything feels possible in summer. 
With all the stress of the school year, I really want to only one thing - to rest and be really, really, ridiculously good looking. To just hang out with my homies, drink orange mocha frappuccino, dance in the pouring benzin. 
Here are some things are hopefully going to happen this summer, because I´m set on being a lazy slob and being held publicly accountable is the only thing that can stop me. 

To Do

Start crocheting a tote bag

Get better at French 

✶ Learn at least one new time
✶ Engage with more French media
✶ Read Asterix without a dictionary
Star learning Japanese again

✶ Master hiragana 
✶ Star katakana
✶Get to A2
Go camping
Hike some archeological sites
Design my next tattoo
Get more work-appropriate clothing

Try

Calico hair

To find the best strawberry matcha latte in Olomouc

At least three new matcha latte flavours

Tiramisu anything from Starbucks

To be nicer to costumers

To finish that crochet vest

To finish any otome game that isn´t demo

To update this blog 

To get more into pixel art

To enjoy the mandatory unpaid 3 week archeological excavation ߹𖥦߹

Watch

More films by Satoshi Kon
At least 25 mandatory films for my finals

Freaks and Geeks
Akira again
My Own Private Idaho with my sister

I should get over my irrational avoidance of Akira Kurosawa´s films

Anything Wim Wenders

Listen 

Actually get into Paganini, he doesn´t deserve the shallowness I approach him with

Some new nu goth bands
Fresh pop-punk acts for 2025

Brit-pop outside of Oasis and Blur
Any v-kei band that started in 2020s

The entire Offspring and Simple Plan discography to get ready for their concert

Read

Next 200 chapters od Berserk

Neighbourhood Story
Tore Renberg´s books that aren´t The Man Who Loved Yngve

Naruto again, this time hopefully to the end

All the literary sources I listed for my bachelor thesis

All books about my 1930s Czechoslovak cinema I can find (still for my thesis)
Farewell My Concubine
Anything related to archeology, I really want to pass those exams too

More fanfics

There also some things I would like to avoid, but actually making good decisions wouldn´t be very Derek Zoolander of me. 

I think that those are quite achievable goals. Let´s hope for the best! 

I´m writing this from my work. I didn´t even know I had a shift today, until my boss messaged me what would I like for dinner (we get food from nearby restaurant). I had to double check our shifts and actually, yes, I had to get my ass from my family apartment to the Olomouc ( ._. )"". 
I´m really lucky he worked today, no one else would check me. I really need to be more carefull, I like this job and would hate to underperform/get fired.
Also, I finally know where I´m gonna dig this year! Because apparently all of as descent from millionaires, we have to do three weeks of unpaid labour at archeological site of our professor´s choice. I´m probably going to Valašské Meziříčí. There were not a lot of other choices, and this one was closest. because I will need to work throught this. Three weeks off work isn´t really possible for me, so I´m gonna be an archaeologist during the day and receptionist during the night. When am I gonna be a well rested person? 
Only time will show. I will possibly die, hehe.

So until next time! ( • ᴗ - ) ✧

Musical Spotlight; Fun While It Lasted; The ultimate break-up (and down) band

 Fun While It Lasted is pop-punk through and through. From their unmatched energy to whiny vocals, it would be hard not to get at least a little bit angsty.
They remind me of that one long summer between high school and college. I was young(er only by two years, but dear God, what a significant two years). Life was one big party (and night one big club), I was at the top of the world and desperatelly in love. Of course, I got my heart broken and I wish I discovered those guys back then - crying during Double Broken Heart would have been so cool, as I got my little black heart broken twice during that summer. By the same guy. 

(This way, I listened to My Chem for few weeks straight, which is still cool, but  I didn´t have to be such a stereotype.)

FWIL has a strong presence on social media and you should follow them before they become next Blink-182, which is a subtle foreshadowing. They succeed at the most Gen Z discipline - being relatable. I feel like most of us have friends just like them. From the environment they film at to their dynamics a demeanor, they feel real. Quite lived-in, so to say, which are words that can be used for apartments, skinwalkers trying to asimilate into human society and public personas. 
Here is probably kicking in my inner producer and capitalist, but I have troubles believing anything I see at social media. However, I enjoy the music, I enjoy the presentation and therefore I believe what I see. Even when I compare it to some Czech "pop-punk" projects (mostly just pop with tiny bit of angst and one guy witth guyliner) that try to look authentic FWIL manage to win. 
Why? They really look like they have a lot of fun together. 

Few weeks ago they released their biggest single yet - Tom Delonge. It was very well received, as you can see from all the positive comments. I will not spoil it for everyone, but the lyrics are super fun with all the nostalgic references and I really liked the cover art - it stays true to the DIY punk roots, as its made by band´s friends. 

My top track is definitely Double Broken Heart, as I alluded before. It has all my favourite aspects of pop-punk - I can relate to it, it´s a little bit off-standish and there´s this rawness that cannot be duplicated by anyone who is not on fully on it. 

I think it´s great that bands like this are still playing somewhere - it shows that the scene is not dead, and that if someone whines about lack of interesting music in 2025, they are just not looking for it. 
To sum it up, if you crave something authentic to kick you out of bed before lecture, or before 12 hours grave shift followed by exam from subject you barely even remember atending, this might be the band for you. 

Dear God, EXAMS and sad films (╥_╥)

 Hiii! (ﾉ´ з `)ノ
College is a fun thing. I literally begged to get in, and now I beg to get out. I study the only thing I ever wanted (and one useless minor I have been regreting since day one) and that still isn´t enough. Well, it would be, but working while studying wasn´t the best decision. Nevermind. 

Just going throught it

I was in Paris for a student conference and man, do I feel like that would make a fun article :D. I represented my university as best as I could, which meant that my phone broke down on day 3 so I spent rest of the conference running around trying to fix that, and that I just did not attent day 4. And day 1 was only for council members so I did not represent that much. 
This was more about the journey that about the destination I think :D.

Ohh, and I finally got the Karma solid parfume from Lush. I could not stop thinking about it since London. Now that I have it, we are practically inseparable. My twin sister got one too, so we are finally matching in something. But maybe it´s too much, thanks to the rich, spicy scent the whole neighbourhood knows when we are both home.  

As for my social life, right now it´s either my work at the hotel or studying. And since I work nights, my days often look like this: sleep - study - nap - work - sleep.
How pathetic does this sound? ( ╥ω╥ )

On the flip side, I completed almost all of my courses - except for Czech Cinema 2, The Migration Period + Roman Empire and Philosophy. To be fair, I should have copleted Philosophy two days ago, but since the test was online and I did not attend any of the lectures during the semester, I did not realize that I will need a password. One that was written in the classroom where all of my classmates were. 
Next time, I will know better, but it still pisses me off. Firstly because I was so dumb, and secondly because this could have been my first semester without second tries.
Once again nevermind, I would probably have to repeat anyway, I spent way too much time learning for my other subjects. 

Also, my studying may not be the most effective one, as I watch movies as the background noise. I can just never make myself study otherwise :D. 
Usually I watch my old favourites, but sometimes new gems. So far, I have seen Brockeback Mountain (again. And as always, I was unconsolable afterwards), My Own Private Idaho, which is AMAZING, I can´t believe I saw it only now, What´s Eating Gilbert Grape (my summer ultimate) and few others because they were giving Americana. Right now I really don´t want to go the US, but I still like imagining myself on the road trip few decades ago. 
After my Americana kick, I went for French and Chinese cinema - I will forever love Farewell, My Concubine. It hurts in all the right places and it´s magnificent to look at. Next on my list is Happy Together, even though I do get the feeling that I will cry my eyes out. 
For the French part, it´s Belmondo time I guess. I always saw myself as Alain Delon or Jean Marais girlie, Belmondo was my pops old (and new, he still loves him) flame. I think that I´m aging, because I started to enjoy Belmondo and his movies way more than I thought. Of course, I grew with some of his flicks, but only now I´m starting to actually appreciate them. 
He is just very charismatic and so much fun. I even wanted him for my bachelor thesis, but sadly none of our teachers wanted to supervise it, so I will write about Adina Mandlová instead. It´s still gonna be fun, but come on, Jean-Paul Belmondo. 

Let´s not judge me based on my taste. Right now, I´m vibing with Pierrot le Fou, not only for it´s anarchistic approach to plot, but also because I´m visiting Côte d'Azur soon. 

As for music, it´s a lot of gulu gulu right now, after reign of Oasis, The Kinks and Cat Stevens. I really just need a vacation, I guess. 

Do you have any cool quizzes? I work 12 hours shifts and it´s starting to get really boring, so anything is appreciated :D.

Take the quiz at emocowboy.neocities.org